Twenty years ago, I was in the 7th grade at Jarman Jr. High. I was isolated and miserable. Sometimes I wonder how things could have been different if I had changed my attitude or been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I lived with my mom, my brother and 2 cats, Cosmo and Trystan. My grandmother, who practically helped raise me, would be dead in 4 months. (1989)

Fifteen years ago, I was in the 12th grade at Del City High School in Del City, OK. My family had acquired another cat, Ariel, who sneezed enormous gobs of snot everywhere. My mom had finished college by now- the only member of my family to have done so. I was preparing to escape from high school. (1994)

Ten years ago, I was living with a roommate on the north side of Oklahoma City. My mom had died a little over a year previous and I was still in shock. I was rarely sober at this point and probably very hard to be around.(1999)

Five years ago, I was working at RadioShack and looking for a way out of my disaster of a relationship. (2004)

Last year, I was in Muskogee, going to school. (2008)

Yesterday, I went to Mass, then hung out at home. Texted my BF some.

Today, I'll be taking the kids to the library.

Tomorrow, I will get up and watch the kids again.

Time for me to check in

I am fully aware of how lousy a job I do keeping this thing up to date, thanks.

Morgan (the boys' mom) is taking a severance package from her job so she's going to be a full-time SAHM by this time next month. I guess it's time for me to update the ol' resume. She has said that I don't have to be gone in March but the sooner I get a job and a place in the city the better. I love these people but I hate living in Mustang.

Pretty much everything else in my life ranges from decent to super awesome. I'll categorize Eric under 'super awesome'. We're still doing our thing and I'm sickeningly, disgustingly happy with him. Rather wish Jason would quit bugging me for specifics, like "You go to Confession on a regular basis?" Or, "So, are you guys like boyfriend and girlfriend?" (At this point, fine, I'll give. I'm not seeing anyone else. Nor would I want to. But that's beside the point.) I finally told him that Eric makes me happy and therefore nothing else is of consequence.

I've really got to let go of my insecurities. They're driving me crazy. I worry too much. That's not a good thing.