Jason and I went to the dealership on Saturday fully prepared to return the car and possibly do battle with these guys. However, they are now talking about how to salvage the deal - despite their telling me that I was overcharged b/c of my credit, and that 'nobody else would take that kind of a chance on you' (big fat ha- I was told that for $7500 I could get a much newer car). The guy said that he would see what he could do to lower my monthly payments and/or the selling price of the car. They may be trying to do the right thing or they just may be trying to avoid trouble. So, for now, I still have the car and am supposed to get back with them on Tuesday to see what can be worked out.


Accountability- Mine, and That of Others

I have come to the realization that I need to be less worried about how others perceive me and more worried about doing the right thing. Also, I've just had a major attitude adjustment. So, I'm a little frazzled (and if I seem snappish I do apologize).

The opinions of other people don't matter as much as I thought they did. Of course, it's important that everyone know that I'm a Christian- it's the most important aspect of myself. Thus, it's also important that people around me know that I'm trustworthy, and a good citizen. But, beyond that, I need to leave off and concern myself primarily with actually living according to my own moral standards, as opposed to trying to please every single person I ever have to deal with (which is not only unfeasible, but exhausting).

There are a couple of major things I need to own up to:

1. I am easily taken advantage of, especially by people I barely know (b/c of my neurotic need to be liked universally). I have a hard time telling people 'no'. This needs to change or I will likely end up going postal (or becoming seriously anti-social at least). The most recent example is my purchase of a used car. They expect me to pay about 3 times what the car is actually worth. I foolishly signed the paperwork, thinking that a) I needed the car right then in order to keep my job and b) that I, with my credit issues, couldn't get financing anywhere else.

2. Ironically, I have, many times, taken advantage of the generosity of those who are closest to me. This has cost me a friendship recently (one of several years, that I cared a great deal about), as well as putting me at odds with what little family I have. I can't have this either.

These things have necessitated a few changes in my situation.

- I am actually, for the first time in a couple of years, living by myself, and totally able to meet these expenses. I can stay a month or two- long enough to figure out something more long-term. (Possibly getting into school this summer.)

- I'm going to tell the dealership that I have been made fully aware of how much the car is actually worth, and that they should be ashamed for taking advantage of my credit issues, gender, and lack of experience with purchasing a car from a dealership. Since I highly doubt that they'll want to do the right thing and adjust the price of the car to something more reasonable (if they cared about doing the right thing they wouldn't have sold it to me for as much as they did to begin with) then I am prepared to return the car. Also, I imagine that I'll have to eat what I've got invested in it so far (down payment plus three biweekly payments), but it's better to do that then to continue to be taken to the cleaners. Next time my brother and/or grandfather will be coming with me, b/c face it- men get treated differently at dealerships than women do.

To my friends and family: I'm sorry for taking such advantage of your generosity. I wish there were something I could do to fix it, but there's not. I wish I'd faced up to this earlier, but it just didn't happen. If you're no longer speaking to me then I deserve it, although I must give credit to those of you who have shown me mercy. I'm really trying, and maybe someday you'll understand.

To everyone else: I am on my guard. I'm still friendly, and I care about making the world around me a better place. Just don't mess with me. I'm not taking it any more. I know I've made some bad choices, and hurt quite a few people, but that doesn't mean I deserve to be treated like I'm subhuman and made to feel like a useless piece of dirt. I'm not worthless, no matter what any of you have to say.

PS- Don't worry about how I'll make do without a car. I've got it all worked out. Seriously. I'm gonna be ok, and it's temporary.


The Big IMDB Meme that everyone's doing at LJ

- Go to IMDB.com and look up 10 of your favourite movies.
- Post three official IMDB "Plot Keywords" for these 10 picks.
- Have your friends guess the movie titles.

1. Lolita, Obsession, Marijuana
2. Dolphin, Bad Poetry, Bathrobe
3. Blackmail, Twit, Surreal
4. Fan Mail, Police Chase, Bathtub
5. Soda Machine, Surrealism, Surprise Party
6. Unrequited Love, Period Piece, Family Relationships
7. Dance Scene, Interracial Romance, White Trash
8. Nun, Saint, Father/Daughter Relationship
9. Cat, Party, Based on Novel
10. Cult Favorite, Bong, Hazing

Come on now... you know you can't resist.


SoonerScotty's Mp3 meme thing (finally)

Rules: set your iPod or media player of choice to shuffle and answer each question with the song that comes up! Then repost the answers in a note of your own. No Cheating!

What do your friends think about you:Pleasant Valley Sunday/ The Monkees(Greatest Hits)

What do you dream about:Rock&Roll High School/ the Ramones (Road to Ruin)

Whats the theme song to your life:Hey Jude/ the Beatles (1's)

What was your high school like:Time of the Season/ the Zombies (Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me sdtrk)

How do you feel right now:Are You Gonna Be My Girl, JET (Get Born)

When you get older your life will be:Where It's At, Beck (Odelay!)

Your angry song is:Good Day Sunshine, the Beatles (Revolver)

Your love song is:Bad Brain, the Ramones (Road to Ruin)

Your happy song is:Jane, Barenaked Ladies (Live)

How you feel about your boyfriend/ girlfriend:I Can See For Miles, the Who (20th Century Masters)

What your bf/gf thinks about you:Violet, Hole (Live Through This)

What your style says about you:Rainbow Connection, Kermit the Frog (I have no idea)

How is your love life: Doctor Worm, They Might Be Giants (20 Years of Dial-A-Song compilation)


Yup, I did it

I went ahead and set up my writing journal.

The Amazing and SemiLiterate Anastasia Hunt is now open for business. I'll post some of my work to it later though- got a Divine Mercy service to go to.

Shout-Out Time, Yo!

Just taking a couple of minutesout of Divine Mercy Sunday to show some love back to a couple of people who have shown it to me.

First of all, to SoonerScotty (I can't believe I forgot to add you to my blogroll- I've rectified it now)- Thanks for the encouragement, and I will get that meme done asap (once I find my mp3 player). :)

Next, to Dave of DaveTown- it was really nice meeting you at church today, and I hope to meet up with you again. :)

I am so grateful for all of you who read this blog, and I hope that I can continue to keep you all entertained.


PS- I'm thinking of starting a separate journal for my short stories (or bits thereof). I'll let you guys know if I actually go through with it.


Week In Review

So, did everyone survive Friday the 13th? XD

Let's see- what did I do with my week? Oh. I worked. Worked and rested. Rest was nice, especially after the craziness of last week.

I did go to daily mass once this week (still carpooling home with Tyf after work). I took the week off from RCIA- I was a little out of sorts on Tuesday.

I've been working on myself a bit too. There are a lot of negative things from my childhood that I just need to let go of and I've got to get past them because they're dragging me down.

This week: hopefully I find a more permanent living situation, and can keep it together.


Post-Lenten Munchies

Is it normal to go bonkers on the stuff you gave up for Lent after Easter? I've been popping Runts and Nerds all day, and am planning on scarfing some dark chocolate later. (I seem to have lost my taste for alcohol, though- I couldn't even finish a beer last night.)


More adventures in discernment

You know what? Priests are awesome!

Seriously, it seems that every other priest I meet and/or get to know is cool.

Yeah, Fr. Dan is growing on me. :)

Oh, yeah, the discernment thing- I've decided two things:

1. Let it happen in God's time- don't try to rush into anything.
2. It's good to know my preferences (active and in habits), but I should be open to anything. Who knows, I may find that I really like a contemplative order, or one that doesn't wear the habit.


Happy Anniversary to Me La La Laaaaaa

So I'm observing my first anniversary as a Catholic (even though it's not technically for another week), and I must say I'm very, very happy to be here.

Holy Week has been an interesting experience for me thus far. Holy Thursday mass was nice- my first.

Last night's Good Friday solemn service was amazing. I went to last year's (I thought it fitting preparation for the next evening's Confirmation), but this year I really, really took something away from the experience.

I've been Christian most of my life, but I really didn't even begin to grasp the meaning of Christ's sacrifice until recently. I'm still not sure I fully appreciate it to the fullest extent, but I know that I never, ever want to take it for granted again.

It just really hit me, while Deacon John was speaking last night, that the Crucifixion was a tremendous social injustice. It was necessary, but it really makes me feel bad for Jesus. He did absolutely nothing to deserve the death that he died- a death he freely accepted because he loved us all so much. He gave his life so that we might all have a chance to live as we're supposed to.

It's like a piece of the puzzle has been put into place. I understand my faith, and myself, a bit better.

Happy Easter to you all, and God bless you.


1 down, 3 to go

Wow, was yesterday ever action-packed.

Mike Bradshaw's funeral was incredibly sad. I didn't know him personally at all- I'm not sure we ever met one another. However, it kept reminding me of my mom's funeral (despite the fact that hers was a non-denominational affair, held at night, with a lot of speakers and no Eucharist). I know personally the pain of losing a parent unexpectedly and well before I expected to have to, and I feel tremendous sympathy for all of them.

Great Chrism Mass, though (despite being almost a half hour late b/c traffic was horrendous- i-35 and the Kilpatrick Turnpike were backed up and it took us almost an hour to get home when it usually takes us 30 minutes or so). I hadn't really remembered what Chrism Mass was, though- Deacon John just recommended it to us last year. It was really neat- all the priests of the archdiocese were there, as well as a bunch of other people. It was like a huge family reunion, really. Some of the people were ones I knew well and saw regularly; some I loved dearly and was happy to see (in some cases surprised- I didn't know Theresa's mom was gonna be there), some were people I'd heard of and was very happy to meet.

Like I mentioned before, Susan Lepak was there- it was nice to see her for a bit. Also ran across Anne Pryzkucky (I know I didn't spell that right), a delightful lady I went on retreat with several years ago. That was neat- I really like her a lot and I hope that we can hang out more. Also got to meet Fr. Hamilton (the Ragemonkey I hadn't met yet), and saw Fr. Tharp again. Both terrific guys- very pleasant and conversational. Also saw Fr. Larkin again- he's a fun guy! I never thanked him for his advice at my last confession. Ah well, maybe next time. Met up with Fr. Rex again, and it wasn't awkward this time (though he's taken to classifying me as a writer based on one smegging article). Good times, my friends, good times.

Today- work, carpool, choir practice. Then the fun of Easter Triduum.


To Whoever Invented Pantyhose:

Thanks. These things creep, crawl, and run a lot.

Thanks a smegging buncharoonie.



*blink, blink* shwhuh?

I'm so booked for this week.

But enough about that.

I found Vision's Vocational Match Service, and went ahead and spent 15 minutes filling out a questionnaire. I had an inbox full of responses today.

Maybe one of the things that derailed my discernment so quickly was that I was trying to do it on my terms, and God simply put me to rights on that score. I do have a few preferences, but God's the one who's calling me to this; perhaps I should let him have some input as to where I end up and what I end up doing.

Mike Bradshaw's funeral is tomorrow morning. I'll be in the choir. It took some serious rearranging of my schedule (I'm carpooling home with Tyf) but it's doable. And instead of RCIA I'm going to the Chrism Mass at the Cathedral.


It's Holy Week, and I'm gonna be soooooo busy. Seriously, I think Monday night is the only one I have off.

Isn't it great?