It's amazing how hard a time I'm having with the job hunt. I'd almost be tempted to get discouraged.



Twenty years ago, I was in the 7th grade at Jarman Jr. High. I was isolated and miserable. Sometimes I wonder how things could have been different if I had changed my attitude or been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I lived with my mom, my brother and 2 cats, Cosmo and Trystan. My grandmother, who practically helped raise me, would be dead in 4 months. (1989)

Fifteen years ago, I was in the 12th grade at Del City High School in Del City, OK. My family had acquired another cat, Ariel, who sneezed enormous gobs of snot everywhere. My mom had finished college by now- the only member of my family to have done so. I was preparing to escape from high school. (1994)

Ten years ago, I was living with a roommate on the north side of Oklahoma City. My mom had died a little over a year previous and I was still in shock. I was rarely sober at this point and probably very hard to be around.(1999)

Five years ago, I was working at RadioShack and looking for a way out of my disaster of a relationship. (2004)

Last year, I was in Muskogee, going to school. (2008)

Yesterday, I went to Mass, then hung out at home. Texted my BF some.

Today, I'll be taking the kids to the library.

Tomorrow, I will get up and watch the kids again.

Time for me to check in

I am fully aware of how lousy a job I do keeping this thing up to date, thanks.

Morgan (the boys' mom) is taking a severance package from her job so she's going to be a full-time SAHM by this time next month. I guess it's time for me to update the ol' resume. She has said that I don't have to be gone in March but the sooner I get a job and a place in the city the better. I love these people but I hate living in Mustang.

Pretty much everything else in my life ranges from decent to super awesome. I'll categorize Eric under 'super awesome'. We're still doing our thing and I'm sickeningly, disgustingly happy with him. Rather wish Jason would quit bugging me for specifics, like "You go to Confession on a regular basis?" Or, "So, are you guys like boyfriend and girlfriend?" (At this point, fine, I'll give. I'm not seeing anyone else. Nor would I want to. But that's beside the point.) I finally told him that Eric makes me happy and therefore nothing else is of consequence.

I've really got to let go of my insecurities. They're driving me crazy. I worry too much. That's not a good thing.


Update, I guess

Yeah, yeah, I don't wanna hear about how I've been neglecting this blog.

Nannying still pretty much the same as ever. If Jason thinks this is gonna make me want to have kids though he's mistaken. I love the boys but they're a handful at times. Of course one could make the argument that it would be different with my own kids... but I am so not there at this point in my life.

I still do the occasional karaoke gig for Jason. (Did anyone think I'd ever totally get away from it?) It's ok though. I think I'll find something part time closer to home though.

Now, for the part y'all have surely been waiting for:

  1. Kris and I are through. It wasn't gonna work. Long-distance type deals rarely do. Also, just too much bad blood between him and too many people in my life. We parted on amicable enough terms though.
  2. Eric lost the Evil GF. We're now a 'thing'. I'm not big on defining it at this point. All's we know is that we're crazy about each other. He looks like the unholy spawn of Keith Moon and George Harrison (purrrrrrrrr). He's brilliant and amazing. I've never met anyone like him before. I never thought anyone like him existed. I've got it BAD for this one. Even if dating him makes me a cradle-robbing skank (I'm older than he is by about 7 years).

That's it for now.


Working for the Weekend

I actually really like the job though. Pretty laid back. The parents are rather accommodating. The kids are typical high-energy rugrats. I have even learned to love the bulldog.

Had a strange weekend. Eric and I went out for coffee and wound up kissing in the parking lot of the bar. (A rather chaste kiss.) As opposed to ruining our friendship it has made it rather more fun. He wants to do something this week. I'm stupid crazy about him and it's either gonna make me or break me.

I need to do something about Kris though. He's sending me forlorn text messages. I don't know how to get the point across that I'm not in love with him except, I guess to just tell him. I do not look forward to that. It's complicated- and not just because of the whole Eric thing. I've always had the nagging feeling that this just seemed doomed somehow. He's always been good to me but I still have a real issue with trusting him because of things that have gone down with other people.


Diary of a Mad Housebound Nanny Day 4

My charges are boys, ages 4 and 5. The 5-yr-old is in kindergarten half the day and is typically the easier of the two to govern. The 4-yr-old is, well, four. Sometimes things have to be explained to him over and over. There are moments where my patience is tested- they tend to talk back to me and fight with each other. But it's all good.
The atmosphere here is pretty darn good. I'm treated with respect by the parents, who are a young engaged couple. They're trying to get some lawyer bills paid and then they want to reverse his vasectomy so they can have more kids. (The boys are from his previous marriage, I believe.) I have a small bedroom and after the parents are home I have plenty of me time. I feel really good about this.

Something tells me I won't be getting over Eric any time soon. The whole thing is quite complicated. We started out as friends- I really liked him a lot, of course. I was still nursing the wounds of an unrequited crush that hadn't gone well. By the time I had gotten around to liking him in a more than platonic way, he'd gotten together with one of the girls from the bar. He's not breaking up with her any time soon. I would be disappointed in him if he did.

See, I actually told him how I felt about him. He's flattered, kinda feels the same way, and would be all over it if he weren't with someone already.

I've tried avoiding him. Not happening. We end up missing each other. So I guess we're BFF's???


New things afoot

Well, it's about time I updated this thing. LOL

Let's see... I'm working for a young couple as a nanny now, and will be until the end of May. They have two young boys. So far it's going well.

Have, as a result, given up karaoke hosting. It's probably for the best though. I'm thoroughly smitten with Eric. I need to get past it. It's a little weird. He has a girlfriend.



The Quiz

The following are your scores. They are based on a gradual range of 0 to 12. For instance, a Conservative/Progressive score of 3 and 0 will both yield a result of social conservative, yet 0 would be an extreme conservative and 3 a moderate conservative

Conservative/Progressive score: 4
You are a social moderate. You think the progressive movement is overall well meaning, but sometimes it goes too far. On issues like abortion and affirmative action, you see the negatives of both extremes on the issue. You probably value religion, but at the same time you think it should still stay separate from the government

Capitalist Purist/Social Capitalist score: 6
You are a Moderate Capitalist. You support an economy that is by and large a free market, but has public programs to help people who can't help themselves or need a little help. Pretty much you believe in the American economy how it currently is.

Libertarian/Authoritarian score: 2
You are libertarian. You think that the government is making way too many unnecessary laws that are taking away our innate rights. You believe that the government's job is primarily to protect people from harming other people, but after that they should mind their own business, and if we give the government too much power in controlling our lives, it can lead to fascism.

Pacifist/Militarist score: 3
You're a Pacifist. You are angered that the United States thinks it should dominate the world through its military force. You think that the only time war is necessary is when we are in direct danger of being attacked. You also believe the US spends way too much of its money on defense, as we can practically cut it in half and still easily defend ourselves, and use that money to fix all our economic problems.

Overall, you would most likely fit into the category of Republican.

Take the quiz for yourself and see how you score. I dare ya. :)